It’s a well-known fact that financial issues are the most common reason for divorce. Even in unmarried couples, disagreements about how to manage money can cause serious problems, and may end the relationship. We all have our own ideas about what we should do with our money, and when these ideas clash with those of our partners, it can get messy.

In some cases of financial disagreement, it’s simply a case of not seeing eye to eye. But sometimes one partner is clearly overspending or otherwise mismanaging the finances. Not only can this result in the couple having a hard time making ends meet, it can also break down the trust that holds the relationship together.

If your partner is financially out of control, it can be difficult to figure out how to fix the problem. And realistically, it’s just about impossible to fix it yourself. You must gain the co-operation of your partner if you are to get your finances back on track and save the marriage. Here are some tips to help you do just that.

* Plan to have a calm and productive conversation with your partner about your financial situation. Hurling accusations will do nothing but put him or her on the defensive, and you’ll get nowhere. It may help to write down what you hope to accomplish and what steps you feel are necessary to do that before you bring up the subject.

* Tell your partner what you have observed. Start out with facts, such as the daily charges to expensive restaurants that are showing up on the credit card. Then you can move on to what you feel may be behind the behavior.

* Instead of harping on small expenses, look at the big picture. Add up the amount your partner is spending on unnecessary items, and present it to him or her as a monthly or yearly amount. This will make much more of an impression than “nitpicking” over an individual charge.

* Discuss your goals for life and your relationship. If you don’t have any, now would be a good time to set some. Good ones to start with include building a nest egg, starting a college fund for the children or saving up for a vacation. When your partner sees what you could miss out on if the spending isn’t curbed, he or she might get more motivated to make a change.

* Realize that there could be serious emotional problems at the root of your partner’s poor decision making. Shopping addiction is more common than you might think, and it should be treated like any other addiction. Depression could also fuel spending sprees. If it appears that such a problem may exist, encourage your partner to seek professional help.

Dealing with your partner’s overspending isn’t an easy task. A confrontation could result in further damage to the relationship. But letting it go on unchecked will do even more damage, both emotionally and financially. If you think your partner’s spending is out of control, it’s crucial that you discuss it before it’s too late.